Stuck in crowded places
Moving through empty spaces
Floating like a ghost
Jumping groups, dodging troops
Not finding what liberates
Nonsense notions
Blank Actions
Talk and talk what I know not
Everything is touch and go
Occasionally I wakeup
Random feelings
Berserk reactions
Am losing grip
All reality is unreal
Too deep too much pain
Sift through life
Search for love
I Search for success
And resulting peace
But the paths well known
Dodging me
Find an escape hatch
Live in fear
Fear of rejection, of connection
And not living the dream
Vicious circle of self pity
Heartache lives on
Feeding itself
Living in stark phases
Alternating
Impenetrable now vulnerable next
Affable then Repugnant now
Sometimes stubborn yet so impressionable
burning in the fire
I fear maybe myself
Where is the power to dream
And the tiny cheer I lost
I slip again
Fight to restart
