The Pretty Eyes I Can Read

When a broad smile is on your face
It seems spring has arrived
The world is so alive
I try to double your glee
Make you laugh and smile
Nothing rejoices me more
I like to see you smile forever
And spread joy all around

I see fear in your eyes
Don’t worry I am here
By your side and always
I shall give you warmth
Comfort until you are at ease
I am here to protect you
I shall always be at guard
And see that nothing threatens you

When you are in pain and look away
I am hurt to see it in your eyes
I shall be there on your side
And I’ll soothe you to rest
There shall be no more pain
I will make sure of that
Grief shall be a stranger to you
For I cant bear to see you in

Your pretty eyes betray your love
Awkward moments when you are shy
When his name is mentioned
The joy when he responds
The anger when he denies
Anticipation when he makes you wait
I will hear your joys and woes
I will help you reach him

Your teeth wrenched and fists locked
Eyes flaring and I come to calm you
But you don’t want to
I will pick a fight for you
Risk everything I’ve got in it
I’ll see that you come to no harm
I shall be at war on your side
If you don’t rest your wrath

When you work over something hard
Are stuck and disheartened
I will arrive to share your burden
Be with you to help you
Take the strain you cant bear
I will give you support
I shall give everything I own to
See the pride of success in your eyes

Hangover

Stuck in crowded places
Moving through empty spaces
Floating like a ghost
Jumping groups, dodging troops
Not finding what liberates
Nonsense notions
Blank Actions
Talk and talk what I know not
Everything is touch and go
Occasionally I wakeup
Random feelings
Berserk reactions
Am losing grip
All reality is unreal
Too deep too much pain
Sift through life
Search for love
I Search for success
And resulting peace
But the paths well known
Dodging me
Find an escape hatch
Live in fear
Fear of rejection, of connection
And not living the dream
Vicious circle of self pity
Heartache lives on
Feeding itself

Living in stark phases
Alternating
Impenetrable now vulnerable next
Affable then Repugnant now
Sometimes stubborn yet so impressionable
burning in the fire
I fear maybe myself
Where is the power to dream
And the tiny cheer I lost
I slip again
Fight to restart

Companion

The stagnant showering clouds
Drift away, of sudden
The pleasant winds of change
Kiss my face as they blow
Waking me up to a new day
Bright and blossoming
The darkness is past
So is the uncertainity

Everyone’s rejoicing
The lovely lovely change
Infectious smiles all around
Lifting the spirits unaware
How joyous it seems
With bliss all about
Like never before seen
Wishes of all come true

But I havent felt
The change though I
Can sense it happening
All my friends have
Found companions
But it seems to me
I am all alone with
No one right beside me

The pain I feel
Of loneliness in a crowd
Is way beyond me
Jealous I have become
Of those I meet
Smiling away plenty
Each smile so rich
and I havent any

When shall this end
Eager thirst of mine
For company of heart
Mind and soul
For now I go on
The sullen gloom still on
Listening to the tales
Of lucky ones around me

MINE

Why do I feel like what I do
I sit here and brood
Want to cry my heart out
Why am I so attached
To something so inanimate
It pains to hurt something
I possess, I own, I use
It belongs to me
But I am its slave
On its behalf I cry, I die
Is this love, is this care
Or insanity, I am unsure

Why cant I say, “So What”?
“I don’t give a damn”
I find it hard to part
Throw away something once dear
Old it has become, beyond use
Yet I treasure, as if it were gold

Everything I own has life
Memories they possess translate as my own
Sometimes I feel they live through me
I thrash the finest of them
The pain this causes gives me solace
There are more to come
Much more to endure
So better break the bonds
Before bonds break me

Round and Round

There there I go again
Round and round
Making no way
Down the drain found
Remnants stale, There there
Jump around, make no sense
Fight a bout with unhappiness
Take a punch, lose the round
Take more in helplessness
Pain tingles up my system
Enjoy the numbness
Insecure and loose thought
I shall lose and why not
What have I done not to

Rationale is a crazy thing
Pride and survival go along
Kick me in the gut, wake up!
See sense and make believe
A burst of strength
One last shot and don’t give in

Doors

I am here standing
Staring down at the black wall
Just a foot of lease
Holding firm, contemplating
If to embrace the ethereal sea
Just a small step away
From the path of no return
Could turn out to be
The greatest adventure yet
Unknown is always beautiful
I have avenues still open
Decisions not yet made
Though painful I go back
To the infinite possibilities
Disappointments, joys at large
The adventure waits
I wont fear its way
When I happen to cross
For now I shall turn
Leave these behind
Have got amends to make
And doors to knock.

On the Sill

I sit on the window sill
Looking at the horizon
Through the grill
A cool breeze is blowing
The drapes fluttering
But am aware no longer
Of the distant drone of traffic
Sweet twittering of the birds
Unintelligible calls of the hawker
Papers on my bed rustling

The light is fading
And so is my observation
I slip into a pensive mood
Am deep in reflection
Thoughts about friends
Hope in search of the one
I wish to remain
On the window sill
Seeing the city rise
Blend with the sky
Feel like I am taking
Into my arms all the bliss
Making its way down.

The trance is broken
The phone is ringing
And I am called
Back to this world
I heave and sigh and
Get down from the sill
Cursing my world
To resume my routine